Takeaway: Parenting a toddler can be overwhelming, especially if you’ve never navigated the “terrible twos” before. Learning more about what to expect from a two year old’s behavior can help. In this post, I break down:

Typical developmental milestones for two year olds,
Common behavior challenges for two year olds, and
My tips for creating more ease in family life.

Let’s dive in!

Understanding toddler development

Your little one is going through tons of important changes at this age. Their brain is growing and taking in all kinds of new information.

Understanding the common two year old milestones can give you a clearer picture of what to expect from your toddler at this age. Keep in mind that some children may reach these milestones earlier or later. According to the CDC, milestones are things that most children (around 75%) do by a certain age.

If you have concerns about your little one's development, I recommend consulting with your child's pediatrician.

Social and emotional development

Shows a strong attachment to primary caregivers
Begins to understand and copy facial expressions
Begins to show more independence, such as by saying "no" to communicate preferences or attempting to do some tasks on their own

Communication and language development

Uses two-word phrases, like "more milk" or "big truck"
Points to things when you ask where they are
Enjoys singing simple nursery rhymes

Cognitive development

Begins to use fine motor skills like turning the page in a book or using buttons on a toy
Engages in imaginative or pretend play
Shows an interest in sorting or organizing toys

Physical development

Kicks and throws a ball
Runs
Climbs on furniture without help and may be able to walk up a few stairs without help

Keep in mind that this isn't an exhaustive list of two year old behaviors and milestones and that toddler development can vary from child to child. Though it's natural to worry if your little one is developing differently than other children, remember that they're also their own person.

Again, if you have concerns about your child's development or behavior, it's important to consult with your child's doctor.

Common 2 year old behavior "problems"

At age two, your young child is starting to develop their own personality and preferences. It's a beautiful gift to watch them grow and learn. At the same time, this can also be a challenging time as your toddler starts to push boundaries, experiences mood swings, and more.

Let's take a look at some examples of challenging behavior that can expect while raising your two year old.

Tantrums. Temper tantrums are very common at age two, especially if you have a highly sensitive child. When your little one is overwhelmed by big feelings, they might scream, cry, melt down, or go totally limp. Allowing your child to express their feelings is important so they can learn that it's safe to have emotions and begin to develop self-soothing skills.
Biting and hitting. It can be concerning when your toddler shows aggressive behavior like biting, hitting, pushing, kicking, and more. At the same time, this can be a totally normal two year old behavior. They're learning how their actions affect others, and it's up to us as parents to lovingly teach and enforce boundaries (more on this later).
Separation anxiety. As we discussed earlier, most two year olds have developed a strong attachment to their primary caregivers. As a result, separation anxiety is common at this age. Again, it's important to embrace this and allow your child to go through this phase in order to lay the foundation for them to build healthy relationships with others in the future.
Trouble sharing. If it seems like "no" is your child's favorite word, you're not alone. Two year olds are learning how to state their preferences while also learning the concept of sharing. This doesn't mean that you have an inherently selfish child—it's just a normal part of raising a toddler.
Sleep regression. Your little one's newfound independence can make bedtime difficult. They now have the words to express that they don't want to go to bed, and it can be a way of asserting their autonomy. Plus, their little minds are super active as they undergo significant cognitive development, which can make it hard to settle down at bedtime.

Know that all of these behaviors can be considered healthy toddler behavior. Supporting your child through these challenges can help them grow their language skills, emotional skills, and social skills.

Tips for navigating your two year old's behavior

While defiant behavior and temper tantrums are considered "normal" 2 year old behavior, it's important to be intentional about how we respond as parents.

As both a parent coach and child therapist, I see many parents try to control their toddler's behavior. They might feel worried about how they'll be perceived as a parent if their child "misbehaves" or they may feel emotionally dysregulated by their little one's big feelings.

However, acting from a place of fear and dysregulation can give your child the message that they're not safe. Instead, I help parents embrace their child's emotions (and their own) to create a sense of ease, safety, and connection for the entire family.

Learn how to manage your own feelings.

Your child's behavior may be triggering to you if you weren't taught the skills to embrace your own emotions. For example, you might feel intense anxiety when your child has a tantrum if you were taught (consciously or subconsciously) that it wasn't safe for you to have big emotions.

Learning how to embrace your feelings can give you the capacity to support your child during a tantrum. This can help foster a strong parent-child relationship and even give your kiddo the skills to build healthy relationships in the future.

Hold loving boundaries.

At the same time, helping your toddler feel their feelings doesn't mean letting them do whatever they want. It's still important to teach self-control and appropriate behavior (e.g. keeping our hands to ourselves).

Young children thrive within healthy, loving boundaries. Two year olds naturally push boundaries during this developmental stage, but being clear and consistent with enforcing these boundaries provides a supportive container for your little one to learn.

Use positive reinforcement.

Using shame, yelling, or physical punishment aren't effective ways to discipline your child (and these strategies feel good for either of you).

Instead, I recommend using conscious discipline to teach children consequences without compromising the parent-child relationship. You can learn more about conscious discipline in my signature TUNED IN parenting course.

Part of conscious discipline is reinforcing what your child does right. Take special care to notice when your child shares, uses feeling words, or demonstrates other desirable behaviors. Understanding what to do is just as important as understanding what not to do.

Be patient.

It's important to be patient with both yourself and your toddler during this time. You're both learning so much, and you're not going to get it right every time.

Instead of striving for perfection, focus on building your relationship with your child. When you shift the focus to your connection, it can be easier to find grace and understanding.

Get support.

We aren't meant to navigate this journey alone. Sharing in the joys and challenges of parenting a toddler can be an incredibly validating, supportive experience.

There are plenty of ways to connect with other parents, including support groups, playgroups, or simply talking to other parents you already know.

I also encourage you to consider professional support. At Rooted Rhythm™️, we offer a variety of services for gifted and sensitive children and their families. Through parent coaching, play therapy, and our self-paced courses, we give families the skills and support needed to be their true selves and grow authentic relationships with each other.

Our offerings provide support for parenting your sensitive toddler.

If you're feeling lost trying to navigate your two year old's behavior or simply want some extra support, our team is here to help. We offer in-person services in Denver, Dallas, Atlanta, and Greenwich, as well as virtually through parent consultation and courses.

Not sure which service is best for your family? We'd love to hear from you and walk you through your options. Get in touch today to request your free consultation. Together, we can help you and your family thrive!

Two Years Old Behavior: What to Expect & Helpful Tips to Try Today